How to Write a Sorority Recommendation Letter
Tips for recommending a college woman to a sorority chapter.
As summer nears its end and school starts back up, I find myself getting a few requests every year for recruitment recommendation letters. And, in recent years, I’ve also gotten some requests for a blog post about how to recommend a young woman to a sorority chapter. I actually completed a recommendation yesterday, and I have to say that it’s way easier than it used to be!!
Striped Tee: Vineyard Vines | White capri jeans: Denizen by Levi (can’t find a link, but they were at Target last week) | Sneakers: Superga 2750 | Necklace: Elva Fields
When I was in undergrad, I served my sorority chapter as Recommendation Chair. In those days, as well as when I was a new alumna and an adviser to my chapter, we relied on handwritten letters that were mailed directly to the individual sorority chapters. With stamps and everything! Over the years, this shifted first to “download a PDF, complete it and mail it to the chapter” to the new standard of “complete a quick recommendation form on the sorority’s national website and it will be integrated into the ranking portal. It’s a little less personal, but a whole lot easier — not to mention more reliable and standardized!!! I’ve put together a few tips to remember when writing a sorority recommendation letter. While, of course, I only have first-hand experience with my sorority, Phi Mu, most of these tips should extend to your organization. You may want to check with your sorority’s national website and with the chapter to whom you’re recommending the Potential New Member for specifics!
Keep your purpose in mind!
A recommendation is an introduction. It’s a way of saying to a sorority chapter that you, as an alumna, would like to make an introduction. Think of it as serving as a reference for a job interview — the hard work is there for the applicant to do, but you’re laying the groundwork to make it a little easier for them! Now, a lot of mythology lies around the value of a recommendation letter, and I’ve found that these things vary strongly among individual sorority chapters. Some chapters are rumored to find more value in recommendations from alumnae of their own chapter or from in-state alumnae; others count all recommendations as equal. Regardless of these variations, your recommendation isn’t a guarantee that a potential new member will be invited back to multiple rounds of recruitment parties or that she will be extended a bid. You’re simply alerting the chapter that an alumna vouches for her.
Gather as much information as possible!
Just as with nearly anything else in life, the more prep work you do ahead of time, the easier your letter-writing process will be. Ask the woman whom you’re recommending for digital files of her resume and photo. Be specific — my sorority’s portal asks for high school GPA, high school activities and leadership potential, and any sorority legacy information. This helps introduce the young woman to a sorority chapter and it reinforces that you’re recommending someone whom you actually know! Additionally, make sure you know the recruitment dates for the university where she’ll be rushing, and get your recs in on time!
Be honest!
I know that I shouldn’t have to say this, but be as candid as possible in your recommendation process. Don’t claim to know someone better than you do; you’re doing a disservice to both the rushee and the sorority chapter!
Be gracious!
Again, I know that HerKentucky readers are, as a general rule, a polite and gracious group. But, I do want to remind you to mind your manners when interacting with the sorority chapter. The chapter doesn’t owe you an explanation if the woman whom you recommended is ultimately not invited to join your organization. Remember that recruitment is a very stressful time for collegiate members and recruitment members alike; as an adult who is at a remove from the situation, please ignore the temptation to incite additional drama. It doesn’t matter how involved you were with your sorority during your college years — the sorority chapter has, very likely, evolved since then. A woman who may have been your “rush crush” back in the day may find a far better fit with another organization.
“I believe in pink” — Audrey Hepburn
I hope these simple, common-sense tips help you introduce a PNM to a chapter of your organization. Let me know in the comments if you’ve written a rush letter this year!
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Ensley's Make-a-Wish Story
Ensley Ogden on her Make-a-Wish trip to Hawaii
Today’s post is so very special to me. I want to introduce y’all to my friend Ensley Ogden.
Ensley is a very special young lady. She’s a hard-working, smart, and compassionate high school student here in Louisville, and she was diagnosed at age 13 with Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis (LCH), a rare type of cancer, in her brain. I’ve had the good fortune to know Ensley’s family for years and actually was sitting on a charity board with her mother, Lauren, when this diagnosis occurred. I watched the Ogdens fight this terrible diagnosis with a remarkable degree of grace. Ensley was awarded the Dick Vitale Award for Hope from the V Foundation, which carried a special message from Dickie V that even Cats fans (like me) and Cards fans (like Ensley and her parents) can agree upon: Miss Ensley is one tough lady!
I’ll be sharing updates from the Make-a-Wish Foundation gala tonight over on Instagram, and I wanted to share Ensley’s story of all the ways that Make-a-Wish can help an ailing family heal!
Ensley Ogden on her Make-a-Wish trip to Hawaii
Ensley, do you mind telling me a little about your illness and your diagnosis? I know it had to be so scary.
I was diagnosed with LCH when I was 13 years old after having symptoms for about a year, such as uncontrollable thirst, loss of appetite, weight loss, nausea, low-grade fevers, headaches, delayed growth, and low thyroid. I had my craniotomy on March 3rd, 2016 and was diagnosed around that time. Luckily, I was able to keep hold of hope (for the most part) because of the overwhelming support I had from my family, friends, school, nurses, doctors, and even people that I had never met! I could not have done this alone.
Ensley Ogden and her family on their Make-a-Wish trip to Hawaii
Your treatment took close to two years, if I remember correctly, and y’all were traveling a lot. I’m sure that made life so different. Can you tell me a little bit about how traveling for treatment affected school and life for you?
When I was first getting my surgery and being diagnosed, I was in Houston, Texas for a long time. It was really hard not being able to see my friends and family back home and not being able to participate in school. But, even though I didn't have everyone supporting me in person, I received so many messages, letters, and packages from friends back home and even teachers at my school! Each and every one that I received really brightened some of the hardest days. After I was diagnosed, I was able to do treatment in Louisville, which was so amazing because I had my support system right there with me along the way. Even though I had to go to Houston regularly, it was comforting to be able to treat at home.
Ensley Ogden on her Make-a-Wish trip to Hawaii with her mother and aunt.
You are so blessed to have such an amazing support system. I remember talking to your mom several times during your illness and she always stressed the value of keeping your life (and hers) as normal and positive as possible. I know that having this kind of support had to make a scary situation a little better, right?
Yes! As I said previously, I couldn't have done it without my support system. Everyone from my friends and family to my school to my nurses and doctors to complete strangers served this role. I would always make sure to have plenty of visitors while I stayed in the hospital. It made me feel like everything was normal when I was around people.
Ensley Ogden and her parents on their Make-a-Wish trip to Hawaii
Can you tell me about your experiences with Make-a-Wish and your Wish Trip? It had to be such a great way to change your outlook and celebrate your prognosis!
My experience with Make-A-Wish was absolutely incredible! My Wish Trip was a cruise throughout the Hawaiian Islands. I got to bring my mom and dad and because I don't have a sibling, I got to bring another person. I chose my Aunt Mary. I had the best trip I could have ever imagined. Since I had to wait until I was finished with treatment because I couldn't be that far away from a hospital and I couldn't swim in the ocean with my port, I had something to always look forward to. My mom even bought be a book about Hawaii to look through during my hospital stays. It felt like such a huge accomplishment when I finished treatment and this trip was my reward. Also, it was the first time I got to swim in the ocean since I received my port two years beforehand! I will always remember this trip and all that Make-A-Wish has done for me and my family.
Ensley Ogden on her Make-a-Wish trip to Hawaii
Is there anything you’d want a kid facing a diagnosis like yours to know?
Just to stay strong and keep people around you. You are stronger than you know. (Click to tweet these remarkable words of wisdom!)
Ensley Ogden on her Make-a-Wish trip to Hawaii
Thanks so much to Ensley for sharing her story! Follow me on Instagram for more from tonight’s gala, and feel free to touch base with me if you’d like to learn more about how to get involved with Make-a-Wish in your area!!
Old Forester 100 Proof
My go-to bourbon.
Sometimes, people, especially non-Kentuckians or bourbon newbies, often ask me what my go-to bourbon is. Of course, that’s never an easy question. Everyone in Kentucky knows that a whole lot of factors go into that answer. Is there someone in the room who works at a particular distillery? Then their employer is definitely your favorite. Other factors include where your tastebuds are at the moment, whether you’re sipping or mixing in a cocktail, etc., etc. But, even with all of those disclaimers out of the way, I find that my answer usually is Old Forester 100 Proof.
I straight-up love Forester 100 as a sipper. I’m a huge fan of the warm butterscotch aroma, the apple and spice palate, and the toffee and clove finish. I also love that it’s at an incredible price point, and that it makes a fantastic cocktail. I think that this one belongs on every home bourbon bar.
I’ve had the opportunity to get to know a few of the folks on the brand team at Old Fo, and I can tell y’all that they are incredible. Master Taster Jackie Zykan is the coolest lady ever, and the entire team has an incredible vision for the future of the label. If you love Kentucky history and good whiskey, you should definitely visit the Old Forester Distillery and learn all about the first bottled bourbon! (My t-shirt is available in the distillery gift shop!)
I’ve also had a few people ask about my bourbon barrel bracelets — I always wear these to whiskey-tasting events. These are by Bourbon & Boweties and are available exclusively at Sweet Mash Goods in Lawrenceburg. These are my very favorites, and are a subtle way to reflect my love of bourbon every day!
What’s your go-to bourbon?
Stoneware & Co Summer Gift Guide
Stoneware & Co pieces for everyone on your summer gift list!
Summer is a time of new beginnings — people move after graduation, they get married, and they purchase new homes. I feel like I’m always on the lookout for meaningful keepsake gifts, and I find myself, time and again, giving presents from Stoneware & Co. I especially like to give pieces from the Embossed Running Horse collection. The neutral tones and subtle pattern complement nearly any decor, and are a great way to add a piece of Kentucky heritage to a home.
I’ve teamed up with Stoneware & Co. to show you some of my favorite Embossed Running Horse gifts, and Stoneware has graciously extended a coupon code for HerKentucky readers. Use code SUMMERTIME at online checkout, in-store, or on phone orders to take 10% off your Stoneware order. (This offer is valid from today, Friday June 21st, through Thursday June 27th at midnight.)
Here are a few of my favorite Stoneware pieces for summer gifting.
For a first apartment or dorm room
The Embossed Running Horse Julep Cup Soy Candle is such a great present for someone who’s just starting out in their first apartment or dorm room. It’s a clean-burning candle AND a keepsake julep cup. I love using Stoneware julep cups as small vases for fun, informal flower arrangements.
For a first home
The Embossed Running Horse 1 quart bar pitcher and julep cups are such a lovely housewarming gift for the new homeowner. Whether they choose to serve lemonade or Manhattans, they’ll entertain in style!
For the newlyweds
The Embossed Running Horse Wine Cooler and Saucer makes the absolute best present, y’all. It’s not only an elegant serving solution for chilling wine (you can store it in your freezer ahead of time to keep your wine appropriately chilled!); it also makes a gorgeous vase for tall flower arrangements! This is such a great present for newlyweds!
For the home chef
If you’re giving a gift to a serious home chef this summer, I suggest the Embossed Running Horse Large Oval Platter. The serving possibilities are absolutely endless with this piece. I plan to use mine as an elegant way to present my next charcuterie board, and it’s always fabulous for serving main courses!
I love that Stoneware has been producing unique Kentucky pottery — made from local clay and hand-painted and -fired by local artists — since the early 19th century. I love to gift Stoneware because it carries such a lovely story and provides your loved ones with a true heirloom. Let me know if you’re giving Stoneware gifts this summer, and don’t forget to use the special coupon code! Use code SUMMERTIME at online checkout, in-store, or on phone orders to take 10% off your Stoneware order. (This offer is valid from today, Friday June 21st, through Thursday June 27th at midnight.)
How to Curate a Home Bourbon Bar
Tips for summer entertaining from HerKentucky and Stoneware & Co!
Today is National Bourbon Day!
Here in Louisville, it seems like every day is National Bourbon Day. The bourbon industry is booming, with tours and culinary experiences and so many amazing tributes to Kentucky’s favorite spirit. And, of course, there’s nothing like enjoying a bourbon at home with your friends and family. Today, I’ve teamed up with Stoneware & Co. to provide you some great tips for curating your home bourbon bar, featuring Stoneware’s stunning Embossed Running Horse serving pieces! (Check out the end of this post for a Bourbon Day gift to y’all from Stoneware and HerKentucky!)
Step #1: Keep a range of flavors!
Here’s the thing. You don’t need to spend a fortune stocking your bourbon bar. Yes, there are some fabulous high-end, high-priced selctions. But there are also some great entry-level bourbons that your guests would love to enjoy with you. You just need to know a little bit about your bourbon. I suggest that you start with a range of flavors by mixing up the mash bills in your collection. Federal law mandates that, to be called a bourbon, a whiskey’s mash bill, or recipe, must consist of at least 51% corn. The remaining 49% of grains in the mash bill contribute strongly to the flavor of the bourbon. As a general rule, a mash bill that contains wheat will provide a sweeter note, while the addition of rye provides some spice. The biggest trend in whiskey right now is barrel finishing — finishing a bourbon in a second barrel, whether it’s a different oak barrel, a custom-staved barrel, or a barrel that once housed a different spirit. I like to keep a couple of “finished” bourbons on hand to provide a different tasting experience. And, while it’s not an actual bourbon whiskey, I like to keep one or two rye whiskeys on board (produced at Kentucky’s distilleries, of course!) to accommodate those folks who like a truly spicy whiskey. At my house, Bob especially likes ryes for cocktails. Here is a great overview of popular mash bills.
Step #2: Select a range of proofs.
Proof is an indicator of the alcohol content by volume. In the U.S., this is indicated as a number representing double the alcohol percent. So, for example, an 86 proof bourbon is 43% alcohol. Obviously, a lower proof will result in a less intoxicating substance. Some folks prefer to sip on low proofs, while others like a higher. If you’re entertaining a group of true bourbon drinkers, you’ll want to have a couple of proof options to meet different tastes. Here’s a fun fact: In blind taste tests, it’s often found that female bourbon drinkers will prefer a higher proof.
Tip # 3: Don’t forget the finishing touches!
While many bourbon purists drink the product straight, your home bar should also include bitters and vermouth for popular cocktails like the Manhattan. You’ll also want to stock up on sugar cubes, oranges, maraschino cherries, and mint for garnishes. I’ve recently seen a lot of creative cocktails that utilize more savory herbs like basil and rosemary — the sky’s the limit! (Check out my sorority sister Heather Wibbels’ award-winning basil julep recipe here!!) I also love to have plenty of simple syrup on hand. I usually make a double batch of simple syrup — using a 1:1 ratio of sugar to water — and separate it into halves. One stays as simple syrup for drinks like an Old-Fashioned, while the other is mixed with lemon juice to make a sour mix. I love Stoneware’s 1 quart Bar Pitcher for serving syrup —it’s so easy to pour your desired amount into each cocktail!
Tip #4: Serve water and Ice in style!
Here in Louisville, we’re fortunate to have the very best tap water — it’s actually won awards! In fact, Kentucky’s water supply is pretty special. The rich limestone throughout central Kentucky provides the clear-tasting water that first made our bourbon special, and that nourishes our famous racehorses. Of course, no bourbon bar is complete without ice and a pitcher of water. Everyone has their own preferences when it comes to drinking bourbon — some folks like to dilute their spirits with just a drop or two of water, and some folks prefer a few — or a lot — of ice. I love Stoneware’s Embossed Running Horse Bar Pitcher and Ice Bucket to serve up water and ice in style. The best part is that these pieces, along with the julep cups, can be stored in the freezer so they’re appropriately chilled for maximum serving efficiency!
Tip #5: Keep some snacks on hand!
Don’t forget to have some snacks on hand to both compliment the flavors of the bourbon and to keep your guests from drinking on an empty stomach! Play with flavors you like to pair with bourbon , from salty cheeses to dark chocolate! It’s amazing how well so many different tastes coax out amazing notes in your whiskey!
Stoneware has graciously provided a coupon code, valid through June 20th at midnight, to help y’all stock up your own collection of handmade Kentucky pottery. Use code BOURBONBAR at online checkout, in store, or on phone orders to take 10% off your purchase!
Cheers, y’all! Let me know how your favorite tips for entertaining with bourbon!
(Stoneware & Co provided me with products for use in this post; as always, all opinions are my own. In fact, I collected Stoneware far before I had the opportunity to collaborate with them!)
Draper James Shop & Sip
Shop with Draper James to benefit Dress for Success Lexington
I am so excited to be hosting another Draper James Shop & Sip benefiting Dress for Success Lexington this week! On Wednesday, June 12th, from 6-8 p.m., Draper James will graciously donate 15% of the Lexington store’s proceeds to the Lexington Dress for Success affiliate. This event is extra-special to me, as we’re very close to hitting our goal of raising the equivalent of one month of DFS Lexington’s rent through HerKentucky-Draper James events over the in 2018-2019 fiscal year. I mean, how wonderful is that?
I’m so amazed that so many of my friends, colleagues, and kinfolk have come out for these events, and I so appreciate Draper James for giving back to our community in such a wonderful and impactful way! And there is so much cute stuff in store at DJ right now!!
I absolutely love this floral ponte dress; I feel like I’ll be wearing it with sandals, pumps, and sneakers all summer! The material is so forgiving, and the floral print is classic!
Sophie totally photobombed me when we were shooting these photos, and the result was so cute that I just had to share it!
I hope y’all can join me at Draper James on Wednesday night. If you can’t make it in person, you can call the store at 859-618-6785 to place an order and help us reach our donation goal! Here are some of my favorite pieces at Draper James right now!
Odds and Ends
Pretty Dresses
Steel Magnolias Thirtieth Anniversary
Reflections on sisterhood, aging, and the classic chick flick.
Yesterday, I went with a group of girlfriends to see the thirtieth anniversary rerelease of Steel Magnolias.
Now, I’ve kind of grown up with Steel Magnolias. I was in high school when the film came out, and of course I loved it right away. In college, I felt a huge bond with the Shelby character, as she was based on a real-life woman (playwright Robert Harling’s late sister Susan Robinson) who’d been, like me, a member of Phi Mu Fraternity. Not only did Shelby, Julia Roberts’ character, have big curly hair, a Southern accent, and an obsession with the color pink (just like me…), she was my sister. There were little tributes to Phi Mu all over the film: pink carnations, a Phi Mu composite, a Phi Mu badge on Shelby’s wedding reception suit, etc; when I was in college at Transylvania, our Phi Mu chapter loved to watch the film as a sisterhood event and note these details. And, of course, the mother-daughter pair of Shelby and M’Lynn had that sometimes rocky, always honest and unshakeable bond that only happens when both the mother and the daughter have strong personalities and deeply-held convictions. Ask me how I know…
It’s really odd and lovely to go to a theater and revisit a film you’ve loved for decades. You’re not flipping through commercials or taking breaks or getting distracted by your phone. You’re giving the film your entire attention, and you notice things you’ve forgotten along the way. And, I have to say, there are A LOT of differences between watching a film at 13 or 23 and watching it as an adult.
At one point in the film, Dolly Parton’s character, Truvy, says “Time marches on and sooner or later you realize it is marchin' across your face.” Now, in 1989, the year that Steel Magnolias was released, stars Dolly Parton and Sally Field were both 43 years old, the age that I am now. Olympia Dukakis was 58 and Shirley MacLaine was 55. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by this, but I found that, in watching Steel Magnolias yesterday, I identified way more with those actresses’ characters than with the then-22 year-old Julia Roberts.
Of course, Dolly was, is, and always will be The Queen. I think basically anyone who’s read my blog or followed my instagram knows that I’m obsessed with Dolly Parton. Her Truvy is the moral center and the comic relief of Steel Magnolias. Previously, I hadn’t really thought about the portrayal of Truvy’s marriage and the arc of her depressed, out-of-work husband, but Dolly and Sam Shepard really do convey a lot of big statements about relationships in a relatively brief number of scenes. It isn’t one of the laugh-out-loud, imminently quotable storylines, but it’s beautiful, as is the late-in-life, reluctant romance between Shirley MacLaine’s character Ouiser and her sweet suitor Owen. (The character Owen was played by the late actor Bill McCutcheon who, IMDB tells me, is from my husband’s Kentucky hometown. Small world!)
Watching Steel Magnolias in my forties, I realized I felt more kinship with M’Lynn’s pragmatism than Shelby’s dreamy optimism. Like Ouiser, I grow vegetables, wear funny hats, am not as sweet as I used to be, and would donate a kidney to my dog. And, like Truvy, I firmly believe there’s no such thing as natural beauty. It’s interesting to see how my tastes and opinions have grown up in relation to a film I love. It’s also interesting to see elements I may have missed when I was younger, like dialogue in which Robert Harling signaling his own gay identity at a time when sexual orientation politics were far more coded than they are today. I’d also forgotten how very terrible Daryl Hannah’s Southern accent is, and hadn’t realized that Harling himself appears in a cameo as the wedding minister.
It was great to see that Steel Magnolias holds up as an incredible film after 30 years. All of the quotes you remember are as hilarious and heartbreaking and all-around perfect as you remember. I loved being able to celebrate female friendship with a group of dear friends, including a lovely mother and daughter pair. If you can make it out to a showing of the film this week (there are additional showtimes in Lexington and Louisville on Tuesday and Wednesday!), you absolutely should. And, if you love the film as much as I do, you should probably check out the coverage that Garden & Gun has given the play and the film in recent years, especially their excellent podcast episode.