An Interview with Anne Bogel of Modern Mrs. Darcy

Next Monday is International Women’s Day and I’ve teamed up with Kendra Scott for a week of interviews with Kentucky women who inspire me. Today’s interview is with my friend Anne Bogel, who is the author of three books and the popular blog Modern Mrs. Darcy, as well as the host of the podcast What Should I Read Next.

Anne is an incredible writer — she writes the most exquisite essays that transform everyday occurrences into life lessons. She’s also kind and warm and funny and lovely — one of my very favorite people with whom to catch up over a cup of coffee! But, most fascinatingly, she’s found a way to read books as her full-time job! Who wouldn't want to do that?

Thanks so much to Kendra Scott for helping bring the Kentucky Women Who Inspire Me series to life — stay tuned to HerKentucky.com and my Instagram this week for previews of the newest Kendra Scott jewelry collection and a fun shopping event!

HerKentucky: Please tell me a little bit about yourself.

Anne Bogel: I’m a Kentucky girl who always thought she’d grow up and move away, but is currently happily living in her hometown of Louisville with her husband, four kids, a yellow lab named Daisy, and a few thousand books. My job is to help adult readers create and cultivate vibrant reading lives for themselves, which means I get to read books, write books, and talk books for a living.

HK: Your blog, Modern Mrs. Darcy, just celebrated its 10 year anniversary. Tell me a little about how it got started and how it has evolved.

AB: In late 2010, my husband suggested I start a blog. I told him that was ridiculous, because I didn’t even read blogs at the time. I’m so glad I decided to give it a go anyway! When I began, it was a tiny creative project that gave me a way to explore questions that interested me, and doing it in community. I quickly discovered that one of my favorite ways to approach a new idea was through the lens of a good book, and over time the books themselves became more and more central to the blog.

HK: You also have a podcast, What Should I Read Next?, which has its own incredible following. I absolutely love the premise of the pod — connecting readers with the right books. Please tell me a little more about WSIRN.

AB: As I began talking more about books online, I realized that the biggest reason people don’t find satisfaction in their reading lives is because they’re choosing books that are all wrong for them. On WSIRN, we match real readers with books that are right for them.

Here’s how it works: every week, a guest tells me three books they love, one book they don’t, and what they’re reading now, and I recommend three books they should read next. And every week, as you listen to a real reader describe what they enjoy—and don’t enjoy—and why, you gain insight into your own reading life. Plus you come away with several titles you may enjoy reading next!

My fuzzy iPhone photo of Anne interviewing Liane Moriarty. Anne looks chic as always with her trademark bangs and Tieks flats!

HK: Some of my favorite moments as a Modern Mrs. Darcy/ WSIRN/ Anne Bogel fan have been the podcast episode you recorded with Jennifer Weiner about her Big Summer release, and your interview event with Liane Moriarty. What interviews or events really stick out to you as the “wow” moments of your career as a professional book lover?

AB: It’s funny, meeting renowned authors and other Very Important People is a lot of fun, and I’ve so enjoyed my time talking books with authors like Celeste Ng, Kathleen Grissom, and (your favorite!) Elin Hilderbrand. But my favorite moments are often quieter connections with readers who feel like kindred spirits. You wouldn’t recognize their names, but I’ll never forget our conversations.

How has the past year changed your work style? We’re all adapting to “these unprecedented times” in unique ways.

This year has been rough for a lot of reasons, and with six people under one roof practically all the time, I’ve struggled to carve out that quiet alone time I prefer for focused work. I’ve been diligent about prioritizing, and have done a lot more of my quiet thinking while walking the dog than I’ve ever done before. I’m also not getting it all done these days, and I’ve had to make my peace with doing less work, but (hopefully) doing it well.

HK: You’ve written three books of your own, with subtitles that tell you everything the reader needs to know. What are those books?

AB: Don’t Overthink It: Make Easier Decisions, Stop Second-Guessing, and Bring More Joy to Your Life.

I’d Rather Be Reading: The Delights and Dilemmas of the Reading Life

Reading People: How Seeing the World Through the Lens of Personality Changes Everything

HK: What is the best piece of advice you have for others?

AB: Build in some margin. My tendency is to pack my calendar (and my bookshelves) full of good things, but both need a little room to breathe. When you build in some margin, you don’t panic when things don’t go according to plan, and you’re peaceful when things are going well.

Thanks again to Anne Bogel for the interview, and to Kendra Scott for working with me to bring this series to life! You can find Anne on Instagram or Facebook, on her blog, or on her podcast.

Ways to Help Eastern Kentuckians Impacted by the Winter Storm

Hey y’all. This week’s winter storm certainly is pretty, but it’s hit the mountains of Eastern Kentucky so hard. So many folks back home in the hills are still without power and water in these awful temperatures. A couple of my friends / favorite Louisville-area bloggers (Danielle of LouWhatWear and Lindsay of Bourbon & Lipstick) asked about how to help the 606 on social media this morning, and I went to the source, asking my friends back home whom they’d donate to or recommend for help. Please feel free to share away and let me know if there are more donation sources to add! I’ll update as we hear of more ways to help!

If you’d like to donate:

Across EKY:
Appalachian Community Fund. Says organizer Misty Skaggs, “Anything that goes into our community fund right now is going right back out to community support.” Donate at: tinyurl.com/ekycommunityfund

Hickman Holler Appalachian Relief Fund: Yet another reason to love Tyler Childers and Senora May. The fund was established by these amazing Appalachian musicians last year to bring financial support and awareness for the Appalachian Region. Donate here: https://www.cfmt.org/giving-and-investing/become-a-donor/give-to-a-fund/hickman-holler-appalachia-relief-fund/

Floyd County:

Heaven’s Harvest Food Pantry is a faith-led Emergency Food Pantry located in Printer, KY.. Donate at: https://heavensharvestfood.wixsite.com/website

Johnson County:

Big Sandy Area Community Action Program provides emergency food and shelter. Donate here.

Pastor Amy Chapman of the Mayo Memorial Methodist Church notes that Paintsville area churches are partnering to provide assistance to residents of the shelter at the Recreation Center. Says Pastor Chapman, “Immediate needs are drinks and some personal hygiene items and towels/shower items. I would say to pour any resources into a local church who can assist in managing those donations.” Contact the Mayo UMC on Facebook.

Pike County:

East KY Dream Center is a dining hall in Pikeville offering hot meals to those in need. Donate here.

Grace Community Kitchen is a faith-based mission that offers hot meals and haircuts to those in need. Donate here.

If you need access to Warming Centers:

Boyd County

Boyd County Convention and Arts Center 15605 KY-180 Catlettsburg

The center is open 24 hours a day. It has chairs and cots; social distancing guidelines will be enforced. National Guard Crews are on-site to assist in operations and transportation to the center. Anyone who needs assistance should call Boyd County Emergency Operations Center at 606-393-1801 or 606-393-1842.

Breathitt County

First Church of God (1772 Hwy 30 W, Jackson) is open as a warming center.  Contact Breathitt County Emergency Services for more details 606-666-3815.

Carter County

First Baptist Church of Grayson (162 North Court Street, Grayson) is open as a warming center.  The church is open 24 hours a day.

Floyd County
The Martin Community Center (7199 Ky Route 80 Langley, KY 41645) is now open as a warming center. Contact the Floyd County Judge Executive’s office for information.

Johnson County
The Warming Center has transitioned to an Emergency shelter at the Paintsville Recreation Center (232 Preston St, Paintsville, KY 41240) and is being managed by the staff at the Rec Center, area volunteers and County Employees. There are 11 persons there currently. Local churches are partnering to provide supplies and meals.

Knott County

The following location are open as warming stations: 

·       Hindman Volunteer Fire Department, 89 Cowtown Road, Hindman  

·       Human Services Center, 40 Center Street, Hindman    

·       Fisty Volunteer Fire Department, 1736 Trace Branch Road, Fisty    s

·       Kite Topmost Volunteer Fire Department, 10018 S Highway 7, Kite   

·       Lotts Creek Volunteer Fire Department, 6894 Lotts Creek Road, Lotts Creek    

·       Vicco Sassafras Volunteer Fire and Rescue, 357 Main Street, Vicco

If you need additional assistance, contact Knott County Emergency Management 606-785-9386 or 606-276-7178 or Jeff Dobson, County Judge Executive 606-785-5592.

Letcher County

Letcher Co Recreation Center (1505 Jenkins Rd, Whitesburg) is open as a warming center. Contact Letcher County Emergency Management for more information 606-633-0429.

Magoffin County

Lloyd M. Hall Community Center (88 Church House Road, Salyersville) is open as a warming center.  Contact Magoffin County Emergency Management for more details 606-349-2313.

Perry County

Perry Co Courthouse is serving as a warming center. (481 Main St, Hazard). Contact Perry County Emergency Management for more information 606-439-1816.

Lotts Creek Community School Hazard Director Alice Whitaker says  “we have a well stocked food pantry and the school building which can be a warming station in the event of power outage.”

Rowan County

A warming center at the Laughlin Building (Morehead University Campus) is open for citizens who need to stay warm during the outage. There is a lot of space at this facility, and social distancing guidelines will still be able to be enforced, and masks are available. The doors are unlocked Monday – Friday 8:00 AM to 4:30 PM. Call 606-207-5028 if you require entry after these hours.

The January 2021 Lilly Pulitzer After Party Sale

Happy Lilly Sale morning, y’all! It’s time for the Lilly Pulitzer After Party Sale! I’ve heard a rumor that my favorite dress of 2020 will be on sale for under $60! Here are a few other staples I’ll be shopping today!

The Elsa Top

I love a classic Elsa top — a silk tunic that works with everything from jeans to suits! These are such a staple, and you can usually find them at a good price on the After-Party Sale!

Skipper Popover

The Skipper popover is a more refined and versatile version of a sweatshirt. I wear mine everywhere, and always look for them on the Lilly Sale!

Maxi Dresses

I always look for Maxi Dresses on the Lilly Sale — I love being able to wear them through most of the year!

Let me know what y’all score on the Lilly Sale!

Maker's Mark Bourbon Balls

In my family, it isn't Christmas until somebody makes a batch of bourbon balls. This recipe, passed down from my Great-Aunt Marie, is the most popular recipe on HerKentucky!

Because the bourbon isn't cooked down, the candy retains the taste of the bourbon used. I think it's pretty important to use a rich wheated bourbon like Maker's Mark to retain the sweetness of the dough. Bourbon balls made with a rye blend bourbon (think Early Times or Old Forester) tend to add a bitter note. The paraffin wax is totally optional — it makes a smoother, shinier shell to the candy. Since this is an old family recipe, I include it, but it really goes back to the days when high-quality baking chocolate wasn’t readily available and the wax was needed to help make the chocolate adhere.

Maker’s Mark Bourbon Balls

This recipe yields between six and seven dozen bourbon balls.

• 1 to 2 cups good bourbon whisky (I use Maker's Mark)

• 1 cup chopped pecans

• 1/2 to 1 cup whole pecan halves (optional)

• 1 two-pound bag of powdered sugar

• 1 stick butter, softened

• 2 bags Ghirardelli semisweet chocolate chips

• paraffin wax

1. Place 1/2 to 1 cup of chopped pecans in shallow bowl. Pour Maker's Mark over nuts, immersing completely. Cover and let soak 12 hours to overnight.

2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place pecan halves in shallow pan and toast lightly for about ten minutes.

3. Cream butter in stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment. Combine bourbon-pecan mixture with just enough powdered sugar to form a stiff ball. Refrigerate to let stiffen slightly.

4. Roll dough into small balls.

5. In double-boiler (or a sauce pan placed over a cooker full of boiling water), add a third to a half a bag of semisweet chocolate chips and, if desired, a small shaving of paraffin wax (no more than 1/4 cup). Heat until just smooth. Dip dough balls into the chocolate mixture. The key is to coat them quickly and make small, frequent batches of melted chocolate.

6. Place bourbon balls on wax paper to cool. Top each with a toasted pecan half, if desired. Results are better if you leave them to cool at room temperature rather than in the refrigerator.

Download the recipe card!

The Black Friday Sales I Shopped Today

Draper James Plaid Dress (old); Similar here

(This post contains affiliate links; I will receive a small commission on any purchase you make by clicking through the links below, at no charge to you. Posts like this keep the lights on at HerKentucky!)

I hope y’all had a safe and lovely Thanksgiving, and that you got a little holiday shopping done, if you were so inclined. I wanted to share a few of my favorite Black Friday finds; most of them could make great gifts or would be pretty wonderful to keep for yourself. I also love that a lot of retailers are extending the “Black Friday” window so that we can safely shop at a distance and online! Here are a few of my favorites!

Draper James

The Draper James sale is absolutely fantastic. Everything is 30% off through Monday, 11/30. I love that they’ve kept last year’s Angie plaid pieces — such a classic red tartan — and added the new Georgia plaid. Shopping for yourself? Pick up holiday plaid or velvet for Christmas (or at least for your holiday card photo…). Shopping for presents? You can’t beat cozy sweatshirts, sweaters, and Christmas ornaments!

For you

For them

Kendra Scott

I will never not share this photo of the time I met Kendra Scott. She’s so lovely and unassuming that it made me love her brand even more!!

Kendra Scott is 30% off through Monday, 11/30. I love giving pieces of Kendra jewelry as gifts — they are so delicate and versatile at a great price point. Don’t tell my oldest niece, but I’m eyeing the heart necklace as one of her presents!

For you

For them

L.L. Bean

L..L. Bean is 15% off through Tuesday 12/1. I love their sweaters, pajamas, and fleeces. It’s also a great time to stock up on Boat & Tote Bags , Bean Boots, and throws for everyone on your list!

For you

For them

Lands’ End

Lands’ End has extended their up to 50% off sale — it’s a great time to stock up on fleece, PJs, slippers and throws!

Macy’s

I love Macy’s for home goods — the absolute best place to stock up on sheets, towels, and cookware! — and their cashmere sweaters are my very favorite!! It’s a great time to stock up on things you’ll need all winter, or to give great gifts!

Nordstrom

You can’t beat Nordstrom for luxe favorites and great gifts! And, if you buy yourself a Barefoot Dreams blanket, I won’t tell a soul!

Target

Let’s just admit it. We’re all going to shop at Target this season. You’ll need Christmas lights. Those Our Generation dolls are so incredibly cute. And I live in their cardigans and joggers.

Happy shopping, y’all!

Draper James Gingham Sweatshirt

Sweatshirt: Draper James (25% off this weekend!) | Jeans: Lauren (old) | Tote: Draper James x Land’s End (oid) | Shoes: Tretorn

I don’t know about y’all, but I’m really only wearing comfortable clothes these days. Words like “lounge” and “athleisure” describe my style lately, and I’m strangely okay with it. I absolutely love this Draper James Gingham Sweatshirt; it’s so cute that it would even fit in with the normal-clothes world. The best part is that everything at Draper James is 25% off through Sunday, so you can pick this up in a couple of colors (I’m also in love with the light pink!) or in the DJ signature magnolia print!

I’m also wearing this Vote, Y’all tee from Draper James as frequently as possible. It’s a fantastic reminder that this election is so important!

The Draper James sale is online and in-store, and includes almost every full-price item. Their fall dresses are some of the dreamiest prints I’ve seen in a while. I just love the colors and prints, and I may just have to find an excuse to dress up in one of these!

Happy shopping, y’all!

{This post contains affiliate links; HerKentucky LLC will be paid a small commission for purchases made through this site, at no cost to the reader.}

The H Word, JD Vance, and Appalachian Identity

{This blog post contains commissionable links to my Bookshop affiliate account. I receive a very small commission on your purchase, at no cost to you. That said, I ask that you please don’t buy Hillbilly Elegy; don’t give that work or its author any more power. I frequently add more fitting books to the Appalachian Voices page of my Bookshop storefront.}

Growing up, there were a handful of words that under no circumstances were my brother and I ever allowed to say. There were the usual ones, the ones that probably got y’all in trouble with your parents as well, and then there was the H word. You know the one. Well, at least if you grew up like I did, in 1980s Eastern Kentucky with educator parents, you know the one: Hillbilly.

“I’m proud of my hillbilly, white trash background. To me, that keeps you humble; that keeps you good. And it doesn’t matter how hard you try to outrun it. If that’s who you are, that’s who you are. It’ll show up once in a while. ”

— Dolly Parton

The message was clear: yes, it’s a pejorative term for people from the Appalachian region. Yes, people say it about us, both behind our backs and to our faces. But if we allow ourselves to play into the stereotype, then we’re giving them power over us.

Now, I’ll admit that, over the years, I’ve played with dropping the H-bomb myself. Isn’t that what taboo words are for? I was taking back the idiom, as they say. Besides, Miss Dolly Parton embraced the term, and who am I to question Dolly? But, anytime I did use that word it was always with the sense that “I can say it because I am one. Y’all can’t.”

The truth of that word, whether taboo or reclaimed, remains constant: it’s a “them and us” mentality. Appalachians are, by definition, sheltered. Our geography and our culture sets us apart. We learned a long time ago not to trust outsiders. A few may come to help — Mrs. Alice Lloyd comes to mind, as does Mary Breckinridge — but most come to exploit us. Because of the cycle of exploitation and ridicule, we’ve learned to protect ourselves from outsiders. My grandfather grew up on the campus of Alice Lloyd College in the 1930s and ‘40s. He often told a story about when he was 17 and Mrs. Lloyd found work a group of local Knott County boys on a Massachusetts cranberry bog. When a Boston reporter interviewed my Poppy and his friends, they purposely defied all expected stereotypes by speaking perfectly enunciated, grammatically-correct English. Similarly, a few years ago when a UC Berkeley professor profiled my brother about his remarkable career in coding, our entire family proceeded with extreme trepidation until she won our trust. Call it us vs. y’all or call it insular behavior, if you ain’t from around here, we don’t quite trust you.

Last thing I’ll say about JD Vance is I also grew up in a holler with moonshiners, coal miners and all the stock hillbilly characters. Venture capital has also put money in my pocket. Difference between him and me is that I don’t consider myself superior for “rising above it.”

— Heather Watson⚜️ HerKentucky (@HerKentucky) October 14, 2020

In one of the very first posts on this blog, I mused that, every few years, there’s some documentary or photography exhibit or TV show that reinforces all the old, hurtful stereotypes. Of course, I’ve been pretty vocal about my own Appalachian identity and my loathing of these pandering displays over the years, so it wasn’t exactly surprising that yesterday, when Netflix dropped the first trailer for the film adaptation of J.D. Vance’s best-selling memoir Hillbilly Elegy, a lot of people texted, tweeted, or Facebooked to ask my opinion. I certainly have one, that much is for sure.

Mr. Vance is an Ohio native who was raised in part by his grandparents, natives of rural Breathitt County, KY. Hillbilly Elegy tells the story of a difficult childhood: Mr. Vance and his sister were abandoned by their father and, later, by their drug-addicted, frequently-married mother. He spent time in Middletown, Ohio, a steel town outside Cincinnati, as well as with his grandparents in Breathitt County. After troubled high school years, Mr. Vance went on to a stint in the Marines before matriculating at Ohio State University and Yale Law School. He went on to a Silicon Valley venture capital career before settling into a million-dollar Cincinnati home. Elegy tells the story of his tumultuous childhood, shaped by his iron-willed grandmother and the cycles of addiction, violence, and poverty so common to Appalachian families. The love among Vance’s family members, even in hard times, is apparent, and his Mamaw is a wildly compelling character. His academic and professional success is impressive. But, Mr. Vance is way too self-satisfied in his telling of rising above his humble beginnings and his analysis of Appalachian culture smugly oversimplifies so much.

Hillbilly Elegy experienced tremendous success when it was released in 2016, reaching the top spot on the New York Times Bestseller List and securing Oprah’s recommendation. Many viewed the work’s analysis of blue-collar rural Americans as a key to understanding the paradoxes of that demographic’s support of then-Presidential-hopeful Donald Trump. Suddenly, his tale of personal success had a very coded message about the politics of the disenfranchised. And, it seemed a launching pad for Mr. Vance to embark upon a career as a conservative pundit and potential political candidate. It also pissed off a whole lot of Appalachians. Mr. Vance’s analysis of Appalachians’ perceived laziness (“many folks talk about working more than they actually work.” and financial instability (“We spend our way to the poorhouse… Thrift is inimical to our being.”) are cruel and antiquated, painting all hillbillies with the broadest possible brushstrokes. Faced with these ad hominem attacks on our very existence, Appalachians have, in the four years since Hillbilly Elegy’s publication, responded with more nuanced and reasonable books of essays. We’ve also collectively shouted that he ain’t even from around here.

The brilliant singer-songwriter Sturgill Simpson — himself an actual native of Jackson in Breathitt County, and not just a sometime visitor — mocked Hillbilly Elegy by calling it “Tuesdays with Meemaw” and noting “I’ll give this to J.D.- like so many coastal elites that have come to eastern Kentucky to point out all its problems, much like them he offered no solutions, but just found a way to get f—ing paid for it. Twice.” My own view has always been that Mr. Vance is like the kid that every Appalachian youth has encountered - the one who comes down from Ohio to go to Vacation Bible School with his cousins and tries to tell us how backward we are. Yes, your Mamaw lives here, but you don’t, kid. You don’t get to claim “insider” status on telling us how to live.

My paternal grandparents receiving degrees from Eastern Kentucky University, 1961

In the four years since Hillbilly Elegy’s publication — four years since I started reading the book, then gave up and disgustedly put it in my neighborhood Little Free Library because I just didn’t want it around me — I’ve thought a lot about my own Appalachian experience in contrast with Mr. Vance’s. I didn’t live through generational abuse and trauma. I was fortunate to have parents who worked hard and treated my brother and me well. I was fortunate to come from folks who had access to higher education. My relationship with my own tough-as-nails Appalachian grandmother isn’t traumatic or fraught. I’ve had kinfolk who made really great personal and professional decisions and others who haven’t. I chose to leave the holler; my brother has built a fascinating career in our hometown. I know Appalachian folks who, like Mr. Vance, have gone on to Ivy League law schools. I can count at least three folks from my hometown who currently work at the Cleveland Clinic. I have friends who’ve stayed in Appalachia and enriched our community as schoolteachers and policemen. And I know a few folks who don’t seem to do much of anything. I don’t really judge their worth by their resumes or their bank accounts. One group is neither inherently lazy and irresponsible nor categorically commendable. I didn’t grow up in the cartoon of Mr. Vance’s Appalachia, and I don’t particularly want to hear his commentary on my homeland.

So, to answer the question asked of me yesterday, I won’t be watching Colorado native Amy Adams and Connecticut-born Glenn Close in an Oscar-bait, poverty-porn denigration of my homeland. I don’t need to laugh at gorgeous and talented actresses in cringeworthy hillbilly garb. Maybe I’m continuing the exclusionary cycle of us vs. them that keeps Appalachia secluded or maybe, once again, I’m shielding myself from harmful outsiders.

All I know is that we real hillbillies will be over here savoring the lyrics of Dolly Parton, Sturgill Simpson, and Tyler Childers instead.