Heather C. Watson 6/25/13 Heather C. Watson 6/25/13

Raising Ms. President

Kentucky filmmaker Kiley Lane Parker addresses girls' political aspirations in her new documentary.

Once upon a time, I dreamed of doing something big. Big. BIG.

As a kid, I never missed School House Rock and my favorites were always the grammar and civics ditties. As a political science undergraduate, I figured I'd wind up in a professional setting that mixed my love for writing and politics with my growing interest in the law.

Maybe I'd start out in a government agency. Maybe I'd work as a lobbyist or an analyst. Maybe even...

But, you know, it never happened. Life got in the way. I listened to the word "No" way too many times. I heard it from myself and those around me. I let my disillusionment about the state of partisan politics override the desire to help effectuate change. At times, I shortchanged my own goals. I moved in different professional directions. And that was that.

Most of the time, I'm perfectly fine with the choices I've made. But, now and again, I wonder how it would have been if I'd ignored those voices. I wonder how it would have been if I'd had more faith in my dreams, and if I'd worked harder to make them a reality. It's one of those games you can't stop yourself from playing.

The advice I wish I'd had then? "Don't listen. Do."Kiley Lane Parker, a Louisville-based filmmaker, recently filmed a documentary called Raising Ms. President which addresses the reasons why more United States women aren't involved in the political arena. It's a non-partisan look at the need for more female voices in American politics.

I'm really looking forward to seeing this film. I'm at once fascinated and frustrated by the idea that girls and women don't aspire to political roles because they consider themselves under-qualified or are confused by the process. In an era in which American women are more likely than men to hold both undergraduate and graduate degrees (source: The Women in America report, whitehouse.gov), this mode of thinking is simply incomprehensible. One of the film's key ideas is that, from a neurological perspective, women and men are "hard-wired" for ambition on a very similar level -- women's attitudes on their own role in politics often arise from societal and cultural influences. Too often, girls listen to the voices. They internalize the "nos."

It is so important that there are voices out there to counterbalance the "nos." Ms. Parker intends to use Raising Ms. President to do just that. The film is designed for television, but there are a few steps that must be undertaken before it ultimately arrives there.

Raising Ms. President is in its final stages of completion. The work is done, and now Ms. Parker needs to undertake the process of editing, polishing, and securing footage rights. This is, apparently, one of the most expensive parts of making a film. The Raising Ms. President project also hopes to produce educational materials to help the film become a teaching tool for schools and community organizations. Of course, that takes money. And that is where we all can help.

Raising Ms. President has undertaken a Kickstarter campaign to help fund these final processes. For as little as $15, you can see your name in the credits of the film. There are donation levels that lead to all sorts of schwag levels. But, most importantly, there is the chance to be the voice of "yes." Please consider contributing today.

To learn more more about raising Ms. President, visit the film's website or Facebook page. To contribute, visit the Kickstarter page.

Heather C. Watson 6/24/13 Heather C. Watson 6/24/13

HerKentucky Welcomes Shannon Ralph

I am so excited that my friend and sorority sister Shannon -- whom we recently threw an unconventional candlelight -- will be joining the HerKentucky team! Shannon, an Owensboro native and Transylvania alumna, lives in Minneapolis with her partner (soon to be wife!) and their three kids. You can read more about Shannon's adventures on her blog, Chronicles of a Clueless Mom. I guarantee she'll make you laugh! -- HCW

My name is Shannon Ralph and I am a Kentuckian by birth and a Minnesotan by happenstance. I have lived in Minnesota for almost seventeen years. No matter how acclimated I have become to the hearty Midwest, I can't help my redneck roots showing on occasion. Like the way my carefully crafted Midwestern temperament can go from stoic to curse-flinging hillbilly white trash in 0.5 seconds flat if you make me mad. Or the way I don't give a rip about baseball or hockey, but cheer for my Kentucky boys every March with a devotion somewhat akin to a rabid wolverine. Or the way I like a good game of poker better than I like most people. Or the way gravy and biscuits (or cornmeal crusted anything) make my heart sing. Or the way, no matter how many decades I spend in Minnesota, I still shake my head at the idiots driving their trucks out on frozen lakes and mutter under my breath, “Bless their little hearts.”

In Louisville this week.

I guess what I am trying to say is that once Kentucky gets into your soul, there is no shaking it loose. No matter how long you are away from the Bluegrass State, there is no twelve-step program to rid yourself of the all-encompassing desire to drink bourbon and deep-fry vegetables. You can't pray the blue away.

This week, my partner, three children and I are visiting my hometown of Owensboro. I am trying to introduce my pale, pasty little winter-weary children to the joys of Kentucky life. So far, I have heard a litany of “God, it's hot!” and “My armpits stink!” and “People here eat sheep?!” I am beginning to wonder if it is possible to foster an appreciation for Kentucky in someone not born and raised here. Perhaps—just maybe—one must be infected as an infant for the sickness that is Kentucky to grow and fester inside as it has grown and festered inside of me.

I drive down the streets of Owensboro and smell the air, thick with the aromas of barbecue and sweat, and I feel nostalgic for a simpler life. I feel a calmness—a sluggishness even—that I do not often experience in the hustle and bustle of Minneapolis. Life moves at a slower pace here—due partly to heat-induced partial paralysis, I am pretty sure. Yes, it is definitely hot. And humid. I am desperately fighting the urge to shower four times a day. I am telling myself, “Just succumb to the sweat. Be at peace with the sweat. Become the sweat.” It's a tough battle to wage after being in Minnesota for so long.

Lucas explores his roots.

If I allow myself to think about it, I get a bit misty-eyed that my children are not Kentuckians. They are not even Southerners, which is an even harder pill to swallow. They are Midwesterners. I am raising my children in a region so far removed from my beloved South that they are practically Canadians.

The weird thing, however, is that I am really okay with it. I have created a family and a home and a life up north that I adore. When I think of “home” now, I picture my little house in Minneapolis filled to the brim with the people I love. Kentucky is where I am from—Kentucky is who I am—but Minnesota is home.

I guess there is some truth to what they say: You really can't go home again. Though Kentucky may never again be my home, I'll always carry a part of it with me. It is in my soul. It is in the blue blood I bleed. It is in my refusal to give up “hell yeah, y'all” in deference to the mild-mannered “oh yah, you betcha.” It made me who I am.

I am a Kentuckian.

Hell yeah, y'all.

Heather C. Watson 6/21/13 Heather C. Watson 6/21/13

A 21st Century Candlelight

Remember sorority candlelights?

You'd get all the girls in the chapter together to stand around in a circle, sing sorority songs, and pass a candle. Then, after the candle had been passed around the appropriate number of times, one of your sisters blew it out, signifying the big news in her love life. She'd been lavaliered, pinned, or gotten engaged. It was one of those quintessential college moments. And, for those of us who were single, or not serious about our boyfriend, or whatever the situation may have been, it was more than a little alienating. Most of the time, we were happy for the sister who had the good news. Many of us, and I certainly counted myself among these ranks, had no interest in settling down in our early twenties. Still, for all of us who weren't blowing out the candle, there was a moment of feeling left out.

A few weeks ago, my sorority sister Shannon had some really big news to share with us all. Shannon, an Owensboro native, lives in Minneapolis with her partner, Ruanita, and their three adorable children. After fifteen years together, Shannon and Ruanita can legally be married in their state. Even as a mother of three, Shannon has promised us, she's going to be a full-on bridezilla. She's certainly earned that right.

As Shannon kept us all updated on the status of the Minnesota same-sex marriage bill via Facebook last month, I joked that I would find a way to throw her a candlelight if the bill passed. I was thrilled when the Minnesota legislature upheld their end of that bargain, and some of us immediately began brainstorming a way to make a candlelight happen. We settled on one of those invitation-only Facebook groups, to which several of our sorority sisters were invited.

Now, you can't have a candlelight without songs. We "sang" our old familiar songs by typing them out, verse by verse. It was a beautiful juxtaposition -- a group of retired Southern sorority girls upholding our oldest traditions, but with a decidedly 21st century twist.

As the words of a traditional candlelight song came back to me -- "Phi Mu in a word is love" -- I realized that it didn't matter that the flicker of a candle had been replaced by the backlight of computer screens across the country. And, while it was monumental that we were celebrating our friend's long-overdue right to marry the woman she loves, we weren't really even taking a political stance. We were just telling our smart, funny, awesome friend that we're happy for her.

For once, it felt like a candlelight where nobody was left out.

{You can read more about Shannon's adventures in parenting on her blog, Chronicles of a Clueless Mom.}

Heather C. Watson 6/20/13 Heather C. Watson 6/20/13

The HerKentucky Louisville List: Gilt.com Pop-Up Shop

So, we have some rather big news at my house. We're moving back to Louisville this summer!

There is so much to love about the Commonwealth's biggest city. Over the next couple of months, I'll be packing up our stuff and the dogs and making plans to join my beau, who's already there. Here on HerKentucky, I'll be compiling The Louisville List, a series of posts that highlight my very favorite things about the Derby City: things like the food, the parks, the volunteer opportunities, and the awesome neighborhoods. Oh, and did I mention the shopping?

Well, the shopping is pretty great. Louisville is home to some amazing boutiques. The malls are, hands down, the best in Kentucky. (Don't get me started on how, in high school, I seized every opportunity to travel the four hours from my hometown to Oxmoor Center, then boasted of my haul to my Benetton-deprived friends.) There's even the promise of a fancy new outlet mall. And, starting next week, Gilt.com will bring a unique pop-up shop to the East End.

Y'all know Gilt.com, right? It's a flash-sale site for high-end clothing and home furnishings. You can find unique, luxurious items at a steal. Brands like Missoni, Vera Wang, Zac Posen, and my imaginary BFFs Badgley Mischka. And now, for one month, they'll have their very first brick and mortar store. The fun starts next Friday, June 28, at The Shelbyville Road Plaza (4600 Shelbyville Road). I hope y'all can make it out to the Gilt Designer Outlet. In the meantime, here's your invitation to shop around on Gilt.com.

I can't wait to re-discover one of my favorite cities, and I'm excited to do some shopping!

{No member of the HerKentucky writing staff was compensated for this post.}

Emily Ho 6/19/13 Emily Ho 6/19/13

Kentucky Winery Wedding

If you're like me and got married in the pre-Pinterest age, you probably wish you had it back then. Just think of all those awesome projects you could do!

In reality though, so many of those projects are super stressful, and if I were getting married again, I'd probably take on way too many things and then get frustrated or disappointed when I couldn't do ALL THE THINGS!

I had a small wedding at Chrisman Mill Winery in Nicholasville back in October 2007. Other Lexington-area wineries that have weddings are Talon Winery in Lexington, Equus Run in Midway, and Acres of Land in Richmond. At the time, Jean Farris was offering weddings but I don't think they do them anymore.

To push the fall theme, we used oranges and browns as primary colors to compliment the turning colors of the leaves. Part of the appeal of having an outdoor wedding was the colors and decorations that Mother nature provided. This meant we could use fewer flowers and save some money. Instead of fresh cut flowers along the grass aisle or under the gazebo, we opted for large potted mums, which were really inexpensive and in-season. Some of our guests took them home and planted them, which was awesome because they didn't go to waste.

Since we had a small wedding (less than 80 people), that meant I could do some things like make some of the favors. To continue the wine theme, I wanted to give away wine glasses, but with a personal touch. I found someone on the local message board for The Knot (great resource) who had extra wine glasses left over from her wedding. I purchased all that I needed for about half the price if I would have gone to a restaurant supply shop, and she was happy to get them off her hands.

I bought beads and wire to make wine stem wraps, and my friends and I made all the bead strands in one night. We added a printed tag to the stem wrap that was a note of thanks for attending. That was probably the most DIY project I did, and it was enough for me!

We kept things simple but added some Kentucky flair and personal touches. My husband's aunt made our cake, which we decorated with live flowers. The guestbook was a photo book of our engagement photos that people signed over. It's now a permanent fixture on our coffee table. We had Lexington's famous Spalding's Donuts as our grooms cake. For the ring bearer that was too young to walk, we had our bridesmaid pull him in my old Radio Flyer wagon down the aisle. The day before the wedding, we took some of our bridal party and guests out to Keeneland. We loved that our wine was local from the winery, and we had beer from Kentucky Ale (I worked for Alltech at the time - owners of Kentucky Ale.)

Caught in the act of donut eating prior to the ceremony.

All of these things made the wedding more special than anywhere I might have relied solely on Pinterest project suggestions and becoming overwhelmed about not having things perfect enough.

Some considerations when looking at having a Kentucky winery wedding:

Most wineries have restrictions on serving alcohol, so if you're determined to have bourbon or other spirits at your wedding, check the restrictions of the venue before booking.
Check that the area is handicap accessible if you have elderly or disabled guests. To get to the area for our ceremony, there was a large hill with steps. We rented a golf cart and had an enthusiastic usher drive those who wanted up and down the hill.
Have a backup plan. All outdoor weddings are a gamble. Make sure to have a backup plan in case of rain or cold. This means having tents with walls and heaters (or fans in spring or summer) on standby. We had our wedding and reception outdoors, and the threat of inclement weather was probably the most stressful thing about the entire wedding (thankfully it was perfect.)
Guest safety: Many wineries are located in the countryside where narrow back roads have to be taken. Consider your guests and their alcohol consumption and plan for ways to get them home from your reception safely. We had designated drivers that stayed until the end of the event to drive people home if that was needed. You could also hire a car service to handle this.

What did you do for your Kentucky-themed wedding?

Glenda McCoy 6/18/13 Glenda McCoy 6/18/13

Wendell Berry on Gardening

Although I haven't found the time to plant my own garden, this year I signed up for a small share of a Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) through Elmwood Stock Farm (Georgetown, Kentucky). It is so nice to experience the natural rhythms of the season through the food we eat; it makes you feel more connected to both time and place.

I love this Wendell Berry quotation about gardening and look forward to the day when I can grow my own food for our family to enjoy. In the meantime, I love supporting local agriculture. What's growing in your garden?

Megan Whitmer 6/18/13 Megan Whitmer 6/18/13

Weddings with a Southern Touch

As a girl who counts the South as one of her great loves, I've always adored little southern touches in weddings. If you're looking for ideas for your wedding or know someone who is, here are few gorgeous ideas to inspire you!